It was wednesday, the day before my dad died. I was late for my training and my dad called me asking me to wait for him...he doesnt feel like going to work. And I kept calling him asking where he was already. That was the last time I really talked to him. He went home, clean the house, do the laundry and everything. And everything was like normal. And at night I just feels that something is wrong somewhere and I just don't feels right. I kept walking here and there cause I know something is not right and I just can't figure out what it is. And the next morning, as per normal, he's going to work, I salam him but dont really see his face, my eyes was in sleep mode.
I was at training when I received the call from the hospital. I thought A&E was an insurance company so I was not interested in talking, but when the person on the other line said "Do you know that your father was in the hospital?" I was shocked. It wasnt serious in the first place. But the second call was really urgent and serious. I had to send my sister down first cause I couldnt make it. At this moment I really thought nothing is gonna happen, and by the third call, I was panicking. The nurse was shouting where are you already? I kept calling my sister and my sister called me too to update me on the status. I just couldnt bare to stay for the training so I just went off straight to the hospital. I had no choice but to take a cab. I was already at the junction to CGH and my sister called asking me to hurry, my dad had a few more minutes..A FEW MORE MINUTES! I just couldnt stop crying, and panting at the same time..my heart was damn bloody fast, and I'm just so very scared.
Off the cab, still on the line with my sister, crying, running, panicking and scared. I just couldnt find the place name Lobby B, no nurse wants to help. I was running round and round. I just wants to shout. I dashed up the lift and saw my sister and aunt. We both were crying and praying and scared. We just dont know what to do. Called every uncle but none had reached. And my dad was gone. I called my uncles, everyone was shocked. We all hadnt had the chance to meet him and talk to him.
By the time I'd seen my dad'd body, I was in a shock state, couldnt find the words to say, couldnt think. I was dizzy already and my whole body was shaking. The nurse prepared a hot drink for me, some biscuits and sandwiches. Everyone finally came, I hugged my aunt and never let got. I somehow loving the moment that everyone was there to help me with everything. Both me and my sister was so lost and don;'t know what to do next. We don't even know anything, the procedures or whatever the doctor is gonna explain.
And I forgot to say, we couldnt get through my mum since the call from the hospital. This is the frustrating part, and it makes us both even more sad. No one could ever imagine hows the situation and atmosphere is like for the both of us. Its the worst day of my life. I dont care about anything else.
And I still feel guilty for the words I said that home is hell.
Labels: my name is Izyan Nasser